I've added a site counter to the blog, so those of you who tell me you read the blog and like it, I'll be able to tell which of you are full of shit.
I'm beginning to think no one is reading because I'm too highbrow. Aside from calling out Lil Wayne yesterday, the blog hasn't had many controversial statements.
Autism is bullshit.
Ok, there's another one. I may or may not actually mean that, but it's sure to piss someone off and at least that's something. The same thing worked for Denis Leary when his book came out last year. He said the exact same thing and ended up on the front page of Amazon.com. Here's to hoping for the same success.
Maybe I need to dumb the quality down a bit here. Perhaps I've gotten too highbrow for a blogging audience. It's not fucking likely, but I'm running low on reasons.
Yeah, I need to TMZ-ify this shit up. Start responding to Angelina Jolie nip-slips, and start rumors that Miley Cyrus was caught snorting coke with Nick Jonas on a donkey in their hotel room.
Aiming low is really the way to go. You go for the legs and bring down anyone with senses. I'm beginning to learn that the hard way. It's the most effective form of spreading your product. You aim low, and the people who are actually lowbrow soak it up and enjoy, while simultaneously higher brow people view it and laugh because they perceive themselves to be above it.
But that's the key. They view it. You capture 100% of your market that way.
The same isn't true for highbrow media. Appealing to the...although I use the word loosely here, intellectual, is much more difficult. Even if your product is lightyears better than what Mr. Lowbrow is offering, you won't sell as much of it because his market is bigger than yours.
The smarter you get, the more niche you get, the less of you there are. That explains why Entertainment Weekly outsells National Geographic even if the National Geographic magazine is better written, has better photos, and is presented better than Entertainment Weekly. Even though National Geographic is clearly the superior publication, their audience is smaller because of their subject matter, therefore they're not as profitable.
Lowbrow media is probably easier to come up with anyway. I live day to day trying to come up with discussion topics and witty things to say and get no feedback from anyone, while Perez Hilton opens a picture of Chris Brown on MS Paint, draws a penis on it, puts it up on his website, and proceeds to get 10,000 hits. I would like to think I put more thought into my work.
People watch Family Guy, which is nothing but fart jokes and 80's references in drones, but refuse to watch 30 Rock on Thursday nights.
You all love Dane Cook, but no one knows who the fuck Bill Hicks was.
You listen to Katy Perry!
Ugh.
This has certainly been an ulcer-inducing update, however, I'm left at a crossroads now. Sell my soul and turn out mindless, bottom-scraping, monkeyfeed to the adoration of millions (I call it the Twilight Option), or truck on with whatever the hell I feel like trying to retain some form of intellect, integrity, and the soul-crushing fact that I'll probably be doomed to obscurity.
Alright, fuck integrity. I want an Absolut commercial. Lucifer come take thy soul.
Check back tomorrow. I'll have pictures of Megan Fox's ass in a thong I swear.
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